Spring Style Lookbook with Charlotte Russe!

Hey beauties! I’m so excited to tell you that Charlotte Russe has officially expanded their plus-size range. We teamed up to show you a few outfits highlighting their awesome clothes in a way that could express my Spring style!

CHARRUSSE1For this first outfit I paired this beautiful cardigan/kimono from Charlotte Russe with a pair of their light wash destroyed jeans. Under the cardi I wore a simple navy tank from Abercrombie & Fitch, and for shoes I chose a brown pair of booties from ShoeDazzle! For accessories I kept things simple & silver, pairing a long necklace with several midi rings from Forever 21.

GET THE LOOK:
Cardigan: Charlotte Russe (1X)
Jeans: Charlotte Russe (16)
Shoes: ShoeDazzle

CHARRUSSE2My next outfit was a bit more classic, in my opinion. This striped dress from Charlotte Russe was admittedly a bit loose in my bust area (I got a 1X if you’re curious) but I loved the style so much that I had to make it work. My tights are from Spanx, and the shoes are Target. My necklace is a simple, dainty one that I got from Forever 21.

GET THE LOOK:
Dress: Charlotte Russe (1X)
Tights: Spanx

I hope you beauties will check out the new Charlotte Russe Plus expansion! What’s on your must-have list?

Too Faced Natural Matte Palette

Hey pretty loves!

Those of you who’ve followed my YouTube and blog for awhile will know I am a lover of matte shadows, but I’ve struggled with finding an all-matte palette I truly enjoy. The Naked Basics palettes were a total miss for me (though I love the other Naked palettes by UD) and I didn’t think the color scheme of the Tartlette palette would work for my personal tastes. Cue Too Faced’s response to the matte shadow craze, the Natural Matte Palette.

This beauty comes complete with nine matte colors that are pigmented, creamy and play well together. Primarily the shadows lean on the warmer side of things. You can watch my review in action, or join me after the jump for product photos & more!

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Get $15 Back on Your $20 Purchase at Sephora!

Hey my loves!

Today I uploaded a MASSIVE Sephora haul. Easily the biggest makeup haul I’ve ever done on my channel!

swagbucks

One of the things I mentioned in the video was this ridiculously awesome Swagbucks promotion, where you can get a $15 gift card back on your $20 purchase from Sephora. Uh, yeah. Seriously. The promotion is available here through January 1st! Here’s how it works:

  1. Visit the Sephora Offer Page and click on “Continue”.
  2. From the promo page, click to the offer enrollment page. This will require you to enter a Visa credit card number and your email address.
  3. Go to a Sephora store, spend twenty dollars using the Visa card with which you registered.
  4. After you make your purchase, Swagbucks will receive feedback that you participated, and they’ll credit your account with 1,500 Swag Bucks.

SwagBucks is COMPLETELY safe and legitimate and I used this promotion myself previously. Worked seamlessly! Thanks to Visa and Swagbucks for this awesome deal. What will you be picking up?

Love,

Your Loey

Numbers.

One of the things I thought about before YouTube: numbers.

800 friends on Facebook seemed like a pretty normal number to me. I never looked at someone else and thought, ugh, I wish I had as many friends as they did. I never rolled my eyes at those with less than me. That was just the amount of people I knew that I wanted to remain in contact with, and it had no meaning other than that.

One of the things I think about now that YouTube is my creative outlet and full-time job: numbers.

As we inch closer and closer to that 100,000 mark, I find myself checking my YouTube stats a bit too frequently. Crazy thoughts begin to run through my mind: why didn’t I gain as many subscribers as yesterday? What if I did and I just lost a ton of subscribers? Did I say something offensive? Why did that video’s views skyrocket in the last 24 hours, did someone make a response video saying what a horrible role model I am? Did my personal information leak? Oh God, should I take down that video where I said that character from American Horror Story was loveable? 20 people disliked that video.

Cue racing heart here. Cue me shyly retreating to my bedroom, leaving my phone and computer until I feel brave enough to check those numbers again here. Cue feelings that I am small, inadequate and foolish here.

Numbers aren’t on my mind in a positive way most of the time, I’m ashamed to say. I’m humbled and honored to know there are so many people watching my videos, but it often gets drowned out by my anxiety over the numbers. As our little friendship circle has grown, I’ve felt like I can reach less and less of you, and that scares me. There isn’t enough time in the day to respond to every comment anymore. Often times I don’t catch the negative/nasty comments until it’s too late and the user has started an absolute war in the comment section. I do read as many as I can, and I try to respond – especially to those of you who are kind. Most of the time, every last one of you is. But there are now and then, people that come along and try everything in their power to ruin my day. Words still hurt, even when it’s a single negative out of the thousands of positives.

I found myself growing particularly bitter during the last month, when the negative comments began flowing in faster than they ever had before. There was so many people telling me that I was worthless, awful, fat, ugly and wrong that I began to wonder, is it me? Should I not have worn those holy jeans in that video? Should I not have talked about being active for two hours a day, though at the time I was? Am I really so horrible after all? Should I not be preaching body positivity, self-love, beauty tips and fashion advice to all of these women?

Actually, I’m proud to say that the last thought has never crossed my mind. You, my lovebugs, are what continue to bring me back to a place of clarity. I remember that you are the reason I have a platform to speak on in the beginning, and for that I’m truly grateful. While the negative comments don’t get any easier, I realize that you are the ones I should be focusing on, not neglecting because my feelings are hurt. Without you, I wouldn’t be who I am now, and I truly mean that. Thank you for your support. Whether you’ve liked a video, commented something thoughtful and kind or simply subscribed. Those numbers mean more to me than any other ever will.

Recently my plus-size swimwear lookbook has gotten a bit of press. San Francisco Globe wrote a small piece on it, as did the lovely Chie Davis from Upworthy. Without your endless love and support, these kinds of things wouldn’t happen for our channel, and I’ll never forget how this feels. Thank you. Love you.

Your Loey

Homeless.

Image

It was in my own personal hell that I found an angel. A kindred soul that both admired and adored me, a warm guiding light that took my hand, offered to show me a way out.

I’d always imagined myself as spirited. I thrived on change; the excitement of self-reinvention thrilled me more than I care to explain. The moment life was settled or comfortable, I was ready to move on. I sprinted from the familiar; there was no warmth for me in an easy life. I loved the unknown. I loved the aliens of people that I met along the way that both inspired and horrified me.

It was much more than a place or a feeling, it was them: those creatures I encountered that would be friends or enemies.  I’d been hurt, and though I had too many scars to count, curiosity always got the best of me. I loved them. Their stories, their spirits, they consumed my life. Yet, once I knew them, really knew them, I would kiss them goodbye and find the next one.

I later learned that this habit classified me as a flake. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I just never wanted to be caught. I couldn’t allow anyone to feel like they knew who I was. I like mysteries the best you see, and there’s nothing more delicious than a well-kept secret. I longed to be that secret, an unsolved enigma that perplexed and frustrated others; that they would always remember but never understand.

It’s a narcissistic trait and not a particularly healthy one, but it’s who I am.

It went hand in hand with the perpetual longing I felt for a sense of freedom. I was never happier than when I had the wind in my hair and the sun in my eyes.  It was a fleeting feeling, a drug more addictive than any narcotic. And once it was gone, I relentlessly searched for it again. In places, in people, through acts I’m not proud of just to feel that high once more. Just to feel alive.

It wasn’t until every bridge was burned that I turned to see the wreck I’d single-handedly created. And once the smoke cleared from my eyes I realized, despite the fact that I’d surrounded myself with people, I was alone. I destroyed everything I touched and I loved every moment of it. In that moment, I shattered.

When I was found it was by someone I had known once before. He became my summer; warm, kind, understanding. He looked at the world in a different way; he had the most beautiful mind. I was a child, lost and abandoned, and he led me home.  It wasn’t until he was certain I didn’t need him anymore that he kissed my hand and walked away, just as I had so many times before.

In all the years I had gone through my life this way, I’d always been the one to leave. Never before had I felt so alone, so unwanted. I told him everything. I shared my entire heart. He knew me unlike anyone else before him. I hated him, yet I loved him just as I had the others. He taught me everything he could in such a short span of time, and for that I’m eternally grateful. And when I left the security of his sunlight, I realized that, although I had only moments before been in darkness, the morning was coming. A new beginning with the people I loved so dearly, that I surely couldn’t live without.

Sometimes people are meant to long for each other but never be together. We do not walk down a singular path but parallel ones that will never cross again. And sometimes we may stray off our own paths, try to reconnect with those we used to know. Sometimes you may end up taking that walk together, as family, friends or lovers. Sometimes it’s not meant to be, and we have to get back on our own trail before it’s too late and we lose it forever.

It was in that darkness that I found myself. I am stronger and wilder than I ever dreamed. I have demons I never knew existed. I am homeless. I am broken. I still love the strangers I encounter in the seasons of my life and I love the ones I’ve decided to keep forever. I am both happy and miserable at the same time. I am fucking crazy. And I am finally free.

Hey guys. I know I haven’t updated the blog in awhile, but I found this little piece that I wrote a few months back, when I was in a kind of dark, dismal place. I really liked it so I thought I would share it with you tonight. Before anyone asks NO, this is not about Tyler, and we are 100% fine. I love you all.

xoxo, your Loey

Spring. (Photoset)

Hi my beauties. I plan on sharing more photos from my trip back home soon, but for now, I wanted to show you photos that my best friend Hannah and I took at the Georgia Botanical Gardens this past weekend. We drank coffee, laughed, talked and took the most lovely adventure through the gardens. Hope y’all enjoy!

This photo was SO stinkin’ hard to get. I swear we have like, thirty failed attempts for this. But finally the lighting was perfect, our hair was magnificent and the heart was centered. I feel like this belongs on Tumblr.

Forever Grace face.

There’s an inside joke within our circle of friends that I’m secretly Sleeping Beauty. Partially due to my long blonde hair, partially due to the fact that I actually am a princess, but mostly because I really, REALLY like sleep. Like a lot. Hannah took this photo and I’m just in love with it, I think it looks so Sleeping Beauty-esque and ethereal!

Full disclosure: Hannah took this. Isn’t that just beautiful? These flowers are gorgeous, can’t think of their name to save my life, but I’m in love.

As we were leaving the botanical gardens, we spotted this magnificent little meadow right behind a parking lot. How random and perfect is this abandoned log?

Thank you all, as always, for reading my ramblings. Love you.

♡Your Loey

Weekly Roundup: Caturday Vol. 4

The happiest of Caturdays to you, my beauties! Hope y’all had a marvelous week. Mine was jampacked, so let’s jump straight in.

Best day this week?

– Oh, can’t I have two?! It’s my weekly roundup, so I say yes.😉 This week was a little intense, emotionally. Wednesday was by far the worst. So at the last minute Tyler and I decided to grab a pizza with one of our friends, Cruz. She’s a sweetheart and never fails to make me laugh, so of course it turned my mood around. Plus, who doesn’t love a good slice of pizza now and then?!

Friday we wound up going out with her and a few other friends for drinks (I drank fake mixed drinks all night because I’m like 12 wtf) and then we did a bit of shopping around. There were a lot of laughs and memories made that night. I love that I finally feel like I have a mini family out here, a support system I’m completely comfortable with.

Worst moment this week?

– Two years ago this May, my sweet Jake passed away. He was a HUGE part of my life. I’ve been taking it a little harder than usual, and it just so happened that Wednesday it hit me in the worst way. All I could do was cry for a couple hours and wish that he was here to hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright.

What did you accomplish?

– I filmed. I edited. I planned for our trip home at the end of this month. I video-gamed (South Park: The Stick of Truth is my crack). I honestly wasn’t very productive this week… unfortunately.

What’s the plan for next week?

– Tyler has a field, so I’ll be all by my lonesome until next Friday! I plan on deep-cleaning the apartment and getting it ready for our new puppy, Maka. She’ll be coming back from Georgia with us and I want to have everything perfect for her! I also need to film and upload so that I don’t have to while we’re back home. It’s not necessarily going to be exciting and will definitely be a bit lonely, but hopefully I’ll be about 100% more productive than I was this week!

That was it for this week! What were you up to, pretty baby?! Let me know in the comments below or on your own blog, and I’ll chit chat with you later.

♡Your Loey