Hi friends! So as I was sipping my morning coffee and looking through the blogs I follow, I stumbled across a post on my lovely friend Kristen’s blog, CameraKristen. I wasn’t planning on writing a post today since I have another beauty post going up tomorrow, but this looked like so much fun! I don’t talk frequently about Tyler or our marriage. Not from lack of wanting to (the man makes me so damn proud!) but because he’s really quite shy. So I’m going to answer a couple of questions for y’all about him & our marriage! Here we go!
1. How did you and your spouse meet?
We had a mutual friend who introduced us. Crush at first sight for me… not so much for him! Oh, he was such a bad boy with his long hair and piercings, and I was the straight A, totally sheltered daughter of two teachers. We became friends when I got into high school the next fall, we talked a lot in the mornings before school. By the time he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was smitten.
2. How old were you when you two met?
I was in eighth grade, which would have put him in tenth. 13 and 15… we were babies!
3. How long have you been together?
This is… tricky to answer honestly while not giving away too much information. So Tyler and I dated in high school for a year and a half. Life kind of got in the way, as it does, and we broke up in February his senior year. In April he enlisted. I was furious, heartbroken and terrified. It was one of those situations where we weren’t seeing anyone else, we were talking every single day but we weren’t really putting labels on each other. We continued like this on and off for four years. So my Freshman year of college, I’m dating this other guy, my first real “adult” relationship. And Tyler is dating this other girl, and we were kind of at this awkward point of trying to salvage what little bit of friendship we had left. But one day I just… I don’t know. I woke up and everything had changed. There was no huge life event that led me to feeling like this, but I just woke up and realized that if things stayed the way they were, we would end up on completely different paths, in completely different lives. He would eventually have a dog, a home, kids, a life with someone else. And I knew I didn’t want that to be someone else, I wanted it to be me.
It was a really complicated situation but we figured everything out and wound up getting back together in April of 2012. So, easy answer to this question… we’ve been on and off for seven years. But if you want an actual amount of time for how long we’ve been officially “together”, the combined time would be right around three years.
4. Where are you and your spouse originally from?
I’m from Georgia. He’s from Florida! Though we were both a bit nomadic in our upbringings, moving all over the place. Eventually we both wound up in Georgia for the majority of our teenage years.
5. How did you feel about him joining the military?
Oh lord. When it happened I was 16. And I was so freaked out. I was utterly terrified and I REALLY didn’t want to date someone in the military. For a long time I was really bitter, I barely spoke to him. And I’ll kind of delve more into this on the last question, but over time I started seeing this wild, crazy, rebellious boy turn into a man. That was when I began to feel a bit better about the situation and I started to understand exactly what the military was doing for him.
6. Where did your spouse go to Basic Training?
7. Has your spouse ever been deployed?
Yes he has! For a year in Iraq. I’m still very grateful that was one of those times we were more or less “on” again, because we talked for the majority of it. That would have been my senior year of high school, so about three years ago. It was rough.
8. Ever been to his promotion ceremony?
Not yet… HOWEVER he just went through WLC and he’s going to IO school in March, then hopefully going to the promotion board right after. So hopefully I’ll be going to his E5 promotion ceremony VERY soon!
9. How long have you been a military wife?
A little over a year! I only announced it very recently to the public, on our one year anniversary. We have been married since December 28, 2012.
10. Did you marry him before or after he joined?
After, of course. We were extremely young when he enlisted.
This was the night he proposed! I’d been crying like crazy and I have NO idea why he’s mean mugging the camera… hahaha.
11. How did your husband propose?
Oh God. It was this running joke between our friends. Tyler literally asked me to marry him six times before I said yes (IN MY DEFENSE, four of them were when he was very, very drunk. Hahahaha). On the fifth one I genuinely didn’t think he was being serious. We were at this little restaurant in Oklahoma with two of our friends (that would later be our roommates) and he was acting so freaking fidgety. I didn’t really think much of it at the time, but after the meal, without ANY WARNING WHATSOEVER, he got down on one knee and presented this little plastic spider ring he’d purchased from one of those toy machines inside. And he asked me to marry him and I did the worst thing possible… I laughed. It seriously makes me cringe now, he told me he was going to give me the real ring a second later. And I completely thought he was joking. To say that he was devastated would be an understatement. When I realized he had been serious I was crushed! We had a long talk after that, a really serious one. Actually, later that evening, he proposed for the sixth and final time. It was beautiful and the words he said will forever give me chills. We both cried. A lot. We’re a mess.
12. Where did you get married?
This one might be a bit long winded. We did a courthouse wedding for the time being, simply because at the time there was a LOT going on. My parents were getting divorced after being married for 23 years and everything was really, really messy. Honestly… I didn’t even tell them (or the world) that I was engaged for the longest time. I was legally married when I finally did. But it felt wrong to be like, “Hey, sorry about all the crap going on for you, sorry your whole world is falling apart, but look at me going through the happiest experience of my life!” I don’t know. It just didn’t feel right and I really, REALLY wanted to be married to Tyler. That was the one thing I knew, 1000000%. So we did it quietly with two friends there as witnesses and it was lovely. I’m still really excited to have a wedding one day, not having one isn’t an option for me. But I’ll remember that day forever.
13. How old were you two when you got married?
19 & 21.
14. Did he wear his uniform on his wedding day?
No, but he is planning to for our actual wedding. 😀
15. Where is your spouse currently stationed?
Fort Riley, Kansas.
16. Do you live on base?
Nope! Just off of it.
17. How long were you married when you had to go through your first separation?
Not even a full month. It was AWFUL. I had just moved to Kansas, we were living with two roommates and something really freaking crappy happened. We all stopped being friends and Tyler and I literally packed up all of our stuff that I had JUST moved there a week before and moved to the first apartment we could find. He left I think a week after we moved in. I was all alone in this new place, I didn’t know my way around and my two best friends weren’t my friends anymore. It was absolutely miserable.
18. What is your favorite base so far?
I’m guessing Fort Riley! We haven’t moved around yet, but I am seriously excited to start. Is that weird? I thrive on change and constant reinvention, so moving is one of my favorite things to do.
19. Do you think your spouse looks good in his uniform?
Can you seriously look at him and tell me he doesn’t? He’s always a hottie but I love the fact that I get to see him in that uniform every morning.
20. Do you think military life is more advanced than civilian life?
No? I think it’s a lot stricter. There’s an amount of discipline that comes with it for both my husband and I. I can’t be wild and crazy and make an ass out of myself because that makes him look bad. And he obviously has to behave as well. If you meant “advanced” as in faster-paced, I would totally agree with that. It’s matured me in a way I cannot begin to describe, and I know it’s DEFINITELY matured him.
21. Do you like the benefits you receive as a military dependent?
Definitely! No complaints here.
22. Do you have a lot of military wife friends?
Not a lot, no. It’s a little hard. I’m really young and a lot of them don’t take me seriously, even the ones that are only two years older than me. I don’t know how to explain it, I just feel like sometimes they talk to me like I’m a child. And in some ways, I am. I said before that military life has matured me, and it certainly has. But I’m still 20. I’m still a little crazy, a little impulsive and a little too loud. I’m NOT generalizing other military wives as being frigid or looking down on younger wives, I’ve met some people I’m really grateful to know and call my friends. (Talking to you, Kristen, Melissa and Sarah!) But I wouldn’t say I have a lot of them. I’m honestly more of a
friend mother hen to my husband’s friends. I have soldiers over probably every night of the week. My guest room is their second bedroom, I frequently cook for them and play video games with them. I’m unimaginably grateful for that and my boys are the absolute loves of my life. I do really want more military wife friends though… submit your applications! 😉
23. What is the hardest part of the military life?
Being so far away from my family. Being in a place I, even after one year, don’t really know or like. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to look back at this in a few years and remember it so fondly. But I miss being in Georgia and I miss my family and my friends. It’s also incredibly difficult in times like this where Tyler has month-long trainings back to back. People frequently tell me to suck it up, it’s only a month, but when they’re one right after another it’s really difficult.
24. Do you own military wife stuff?
I actually don’t! I’d like to, though. I own a lot of just Army themed stuff. And Air Force, as my dad was in the Air Force.
25. Do you support your spouse as a member of the military?
I feel like I might get a little emotional on this one. There are no words to express how proud I am of Tyler. How proud I am of what he does, of his enthusiasm and passion for both the work he does and actually being in the Army. But there’s a lot more to it than that. It’s really, REALLY hard to explain this and I hope no one takes me the wrong way, because it’s coming from an honest and very loving place. But if Tyler had not joined the Army, I’m certain we would not have wound up together. He is a very, very different person from who he was and when I look back at dating him in high school it feels like I was with an entirely different man. And I know that people just change and grow but in the town that we were from, not a lot of people get out. It’s one of those places where our teachers went to school there, along with our moms and dads. I NEVER wanted to stay there. And neither did he. The Army for him started as a way out and a job, but it has evolved into so, so much more. I love him being in the military. I will support him no matter what he chooses to do, but yes, I wholeheartedly support him as a member of the Army.
I’m not quite sure who to tag so if you’d like to do this, I’d love to see your answers!